Youth Sports are Burning Kids Out
Photo Credit: https://eastside-online.org/sports/mental-health-in-sports/
By: Ethan Adkins
I'm Ethan Adkins, but if you came to the Jenks Aquatic Center, you might hear me called Coach Ethan. Coaching is one of the biggest passions in my life thus far. I have also been a competitive athlete since I was in 5th grade, which is another one of my biggest passions. To me, these two passions go hand in hand in my life. The more I learn and grow as an athlete in the sport of swimming, the better a coach I can become.
The idea of being a coach came to me during my freshman year, when I would help friends keep track of their goals, times, and other stats related to progress. This really opened up the idea that coaching could help me bring the passion I had for doing this with my friends and give it to more people. I would keep a notebook full of sets I would come up with, progress for my friends and me, and notes on how to get better at what I do.
My dreams finally came true when last year I was hired as a student coach and assigned to work with the Advanced group, which consists of 7th-8th graders. In that time, I have seen so much growth in those athletes, whether that’s kids making the qualifying times to go to a big meet that they told me they didn’t think they could get, or overcoming a more personal struggle that’s enhanced by the sport. These struggles caught my attention over the past year and a half of work, and I asked myself a question: why are the people a part of the sports world ruining it for kids, and what can we do to fix that?
One thing I purposely thought about when I got hired was the age group I was working with. A study from the National Institute of Mental Health says that nearly one-third of kids between the ages of 13 and 18 will experience anxiety. I believe that a huge part of my job is not just to make good athletes, but good people. This means that I try to form a program that works for the age group I work with.
This story is extremely personal to me as both an athlete and a coach. I remember being in 7th-8th grade and feeling the pressure to compete with the next level above. Something I say often to the kids in my group is, “I’m still actively in your shoes.”
I’m only a few years older than they are and am still deeply involved in the sport. I still face my own struggles, whether that’s related to my swim, school, or social life. I know how it feels for something to raise you to your highest heights and, at the same time, be crushed to your lowest lows. I’ve stood on the first-place podium and lifted the championship trophy, and I’ve been the one crushed because I lost State by a single point.
I’ve seen my athletes experience the same thing. I see the impacts of what the sport can do to someone. I’ve seen athletes achieve goals they set for themselves over a year prior. I’ve seen them get out of the water and smile, cheer, and celebrate with their friends. At the same time, I’ve seen athletes burst into tears when they add a second in one of their events. I’ve seen the distraught faces and expressions when they don’t get their goal. Most importantly, I’ve seen how the process of getting there takes a toll on them.
One of the biggest things I find with struggling athletes is the idea that it’s a boom or bust, right now. If they aren’t where they want to be in 7th grade, they can never be great. To me, this is one of the biggest flaws in youth sports. Parents, coaches, and teammates all add an extra factor to the sport that just doesn’t need to be there.
Sports should be fun, especially at the younger level. Fun makes athletes want to keep pushing, growing, and getting better. As an athlete, I know that the times I’m doing the worst are also the times I’m having the least amount of fun. In the group I coach, I try to balance fun and engaging sets with hard work. I always try to write my sets to be original, different, fun, and difficult. I find that when I write my sets around pushing their limits, but when it’s done, they get out and feel proud of what they did, I get the best results out of my kids.
A huge factor in developing great sustainable athletes is investing in them as people. The pressure of sports only heightens the stress, anxiety, and problems that stem from outside sources.
There are periods of time during the season when training is just going to be rough. This period for swimming is typically from December to early February. This is where we, as coaches, generally make the practices go up in intensity and yardage to prepare for the championship meets in late February and early March. As a coach, I’ve been a part of two of these periods, and what I’ve noticed is an increase in anxiety, stress, and nerves. Most of the time, though, it’s not uniquely swim-related. Most of the time, it stems from something going on at school, home, or socially that gets intertwined with the high pressure of the sport.
I strongly believe, as someone who is an athlete and supports athletes, investing more in the actual lives of what’s going on every day is crucial to seeing great successes. Something I really like doing to start my group is asking them what their favorite part of their day is. It gets them to talk about what’s going on in their life outside of swim and open up about it. Even if it is just, “my favorite part was lunch,” that communication is extremely important to sustained success in sports.
One of my first claims to fame I have with the kids was that I’m not afraid to pull kids out of the water to talk. If I noticed a swimmer looked or was acting distracted, I would pull them out to see what’s going on, and one overwhelming thing I heard was how intertwined the sport has become with their personal life or struggles. If something was going on at school or at home, practice wouldn’t be a separation from the world. Instead, it heightened those feelings of anxiety and stress. Letting athletes talk through their emotions can help people relieve their thoughts.
“By paying attention and naming these feelings, we can watch them dissipate, fading from our minds as we become more mindful, centered, and at peace (Lieberman et al., 2007),” said an article from Psychology Today, which talks about the benefits of talking through our emotions.
As a coach, I’ve been through two of the high-yardage, high-intensity periods, and what I’ve noticed is an increase in anxiety, stress, and nerves. Most of the time, though, it’s not uniquely swim-related. It can be anything from going on at school, home, or in their social lives that gets intertwined with the high pressure of the sport. I strongly believe, as someone who is an athlete and supports athletes, that investing more in the actual lives of what’s going on everyday is crucial to see great successes. Something I really like doing to start my group is asking them what their favorite part of their day is. It gets them to talk about what’s going on in their life outside of swim and open up about it. Even if it is just, “my favorite part was lunch,” that communication is extremely important to sustained success in sports.
I interviewed one of my former swimmers, and now freshman teammate, to hear her experience on what taking the sport too seriously has done to her, and what she would say to a parent, coach, or teammate who sees an athlete struggling. For her privacy, I have decided to keep her name anonymous.
One of her main talking points in our interview was the need for athletes to get someone to talk to. This talking point stuck out to me because I actively see both sides of this. As a student athlete, I need people to talk to all the time to get out what’s on my mind. I do walk and talk with Mr. McCown if I’m really struggling and just need to get this out. A lot of the time, I talk about the same thing I’m writing about in this article, how my school and social life interact and intertwine with my swim career, and how that just stews and bubbles over.
I also take the role of “a McCown” when I coach. Being that stable, steady presence is one of the huge reasons I wanted to coach in the first place. I remember how it was being a middle schooler, and I wanted to help them grow not just as a swimmer but as a person. I believe it is a coach's job to develop good people as well as good athletes. As I said earlier, my claim to fame is being the coach you can talk to. Getting to see both sides of the coin has helped me a lot in my development as a coach and person. I gain that extra layer of understanding not only of the people around me, but also of myself.
To tie it back in, having a deeper understanding of what you feel and want makes it easier to not get burned out. However, that extra pressure we put on these young athletes makes them lose sight of how they truly feel and fall into what the pressure expects them to feel and want. My former swimmer also said she felt that way towards the end of middle school as well.
“I wanted to make the team, but then it started feeling like I didn’t want to make the team. Everyone else needed me to make it, so I had to, and if I don’t, then it would be the worst thing ever rather than it being the best thing ever to make it,” my former swimmer said.
She also would go on to add a little bit about pressure.
“It’s not important to get that cut, to get that time, just don’t put that much pressure on an athlete, because they’re also just a kid,” she said.
That last bit in our interview, I think, perfectly sums up the whole point of this article. They’re just kids. What they do is supposed to be fun, and their whole world. They deserve to have fun and explore their interests. They deserve to fail and learn how to get better, and they deserve to grow and develop good habits and attitudes. The pressure we put on them to be the next great thing is burning our youth out.
Sports are supposed to be fun, so let them. In my experience as a coach, I’ve had a lot of my athletes not let themselves relax and have fun. They’re supposed to be something to keep us in shape, help us learn teamwork, communication, and make friends. Let athletes enjoy this time as kids; we only get so long before the world gets real. Let them have this time to be their happiest, most fun selves.
